Dear Loren...

Loren well [Lauren Harper] lol
My angel, my rock. My wonderwoman.
I am so sorry I didn't wish you happy birthday yesterday, I tried to stay up until 23:59:59 but failed miserably and fell asleep!
You have been there for me through so much, ups and downs etc.
No-one has shocked me as much as you have over the years.
I am lucky to have you as a friend and the love is eternal. Always & Forever.
I love you Rock Chicken [Remember that?]
Mwahhhh
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What a way to wake up!!

Sometimes I see things that make me emotional...
Whether that emotion be positive or negative, its an emotion nonetheless.
Having fallen asleep at about 11 last night with facebook on, I woke up to an indirect.
Initially, I was vex. STUPID TRAMP!!!
Then it made me laugh. These girls throwing their toys out of their prams!

Over the years, females have recieved more equality, rights etc
Yet still some want to live as if it was still the 40's... Women CAN work now.
Go get a job you lazy cows. Having a baby is no excuse.
You find someone to watch your kids so you can rave.
So unemployed women; I urge you all.
Call upon your babyfathers [LMFAO], your parents, your current 'boyfriends', or whoever
But please, please, please stop wasting my taxes in raves.

Take Note: Indirecting me when you are not only a waste of oxygen but are far from a looker is not in your best interests. The same female that indirected me, was my inspiration for 'unlimited controversial views' (Click older posts). Haha

Elsewhere:

• I'm STILL FLAT HUNTING kmt..
• I have realised asos.com will eventually bankrupt me... I need to block it on my web browser, if you know how. Let me know!!
• Budgeting at £40 a week was disasterous. Maybe next week...

On that note I'm off to get ready...
Much love
Nat x

It's my life...

Miss James: Stubborn

I set realistic goals and limits a few days ago.
There is only so much I will take before I give up.
I'm only human.
If you make me a promise & break it. I'll forgive you.
I'll never forget. I'll never take another one seriously.
Eventually, I'll do exactly what I like, regardless of who likes it.
I never degrade or disrespect myself, so doing what I like doesn't affect my integrity.
I will cut my nose of to spite my face. I will not end up broken. I'll glue the pieces back together.

'Don't say you will, unless you will' 'If you hurt me then I'll have to hurt you'

Miss James: Loyal

Once I have love for someone, I'm there.
If you once had millions and are now borrowing. I'll open my purse to you.
If once you were always smiling and are now in tears. I'll give you my shoulder.
If you once owned six houses and are now homeless. I'd give you my bed.
I don't expect the same back from everyone. I'm realistic.

Miss James: Realist

Nothing lasts forever. Nothing is longer than life.
Love eventually will hurt.
People will let you down. The people will be the ones you cared for most.
Nothing will hurt more than losing your number one. It will happen.
Bad hair days are inevitable.
You can't always feel pretty.
You will get with a guy/girl who's ex is better looking than you.
If he makes you feel insecure it will NEVER last; or it will and you'll be left a broken person.
The person you least expect to be the one, will provide eternal happiness.
Dreams are a fragment of our imagination. 98% of them will not come true.
I don't care for dreams because I live in reality, I'm not optimistic. I state my future.
People will doubt you, show them your ability.


People never get the flowers when they can still smell them.

Love Nat x

Is time really a healer?

They say that with time it all gets better....
Your grief will lessen as another day draws to an end
Tomorrow you'll feel that bit better about a love lost
Tomorrow's another day closer to your release date

What is so special about tomorrow?

RIP. Warren, Cherise & Chantelle.
I love and miss you all as much as I did on the day you first left.
You cross my mind all the time, I wonder what you'd be like if you were still here.
Warren, I wonder if I'll bump into you whenever I walk near the shop near your house. Silly I know, I know you're gone but even 4 years on it still doesn't seem real.
Cherise, I wonder what an angel you'd be now, what your laugh would sound like. If as a little girl you'd even like me! Picturing your first words, first steps, first day at school. None that we'll ever get to see.
Chantelle, in your short life you taught me a lot. Never to give up, to fight even when winning seems much further away than losing. That even when you're in death's arms to smile. You were a true beauty. An absolute angel

Nat x

Sometimes I NEED your help...

Today I am happy.
Yesterday I was cold. LOL. Yes my house has heating!

Why do all heels on sale at the moment have platforms on them?
These are the only nice ones I have seen so far...

Yes, they are Ed Hardy's. Ed Hardy has become common and not so sexy. These however, are an exception. I would buy them but I'm not sure how US sizes work and am VERY wary about buying off ebay.

If you are going to the US any time soon, get in touch. I have decided that I NEED these in my life. I don't mind the colour. I am a UK size 5.

Thanks x

Sign of a true friend...

Quick blog again... Getting lazy!!

I got a txt today which said
'If I ever met your man I'd tell him he was blessed with a beautiful, intellectual girlfriend who is destined for greater things than even she could imagine. I hope he knows how lucky he really is.'

Dear friend,
Thankyou, I know you read this. Your text meant more to me than you initially pictured.
You know sometimes I'm insecure, that I doubt myself. That sometimes I need to be reassured that I'm good enough and that I'll put on a mask and pretend, even to you that everything's okay and that I'm as confident as others believe.
I doubt you will ever meet the Mr. Highly doubt it but the next time I see you I'll buy you a frap whilst we discuss my ever changing plans for the future. Thankyou for having an ever lasting belief in my capability.
Hopefully I'll make you proud.
Love
Nat x


Dominique,
You are an angel, truly heaven sent. I'd be lost without you.
Love you xxx

Good Morning... Oooh Oooh Oooohhh Oooohhh Ooohhhh [Kanye!]

Morning world.
It's actually a really cold morning so I'm struggling to get out of bed, maybe I'll stay here for an extra half an hour!! I've got a headache and my knees are hurting so I'm worse for wear...

Work at 9:45... I wonder if I can sleep until 8:30.
These birds are really loud. Arrrgggghhhh
The title is a song. Good Morning - Kanye West [Graduation: Track One]
Nat x

Reality Check...

Sometimes when you feel the world is on your shoulders. It's really at your feet, only you're too blind/ignorant to notice it.

When you feel the world is against you. You're probably against the world. You're one person you can't fight alone. Trust me. You need someone in your corner, even if it's just to cheer you on.

Today I bumped into an old friend. Actually a friend, not an old 'friend' like in the movies. lol. He made me realise the extent of change I have made since school. Okay, so it's been years since I finished school. Time is a great thing. Limited as it is.

True friends prevail when you need them most. Pop up in the most random places and times in your life and somehow always know the right thing to say. A deeper connection. To all my friends. You are my world, my rock, my [almost] everything and I love [most] of you dearly. Thankyou for everything you have done for me so far and everything you are likely to do for me in the future. If I lose some of you along the way, you have added to me and made my life what it is so far, good or bad. It's all necessary life experience. x

Love will only work if you can see through the tough spots, pride has to go at some point. It hurt's inevitably. Try and live it out. Make sacrifices if you have to. Love makes you vulnerable yet it's an amazing and rare feeling. Sounds a bit mad to me.... blah blah blah. Someone's emotional

The grass is always greener on the other side.
If someone is in a relationship. STAY AWAY. Trust me, eventually someone will get hurt, maybe its because you can't have something you want it. Grass is greener on the other side... etc.






Looks the same on both side's to me






Elsewhere:

Cadbury's cream eggs are nice :)

I'm starting to think Jade Goody is taking the piss with the press. I kinda understand why tho.

Rhi is coming to London!!! Woooooooooo. Missed ya gorgeous x

Ermm. That's about it.
Nat x

Hmmm...

'If you hurt me then I'll have to hurt you, but if I hurt you. Will you desert me?'

Funny picture really...


Why does it always appear that things go wrong all at once? I suppose it could be worse. I could be that guy.

Unlimited controversial views....

Simply because today I'm in a rush somewhat I'll attempt to leave the thought provoking questions out & get straight to the point.

FACEBOOK HAHAHAHHAHAHA.... Why did I ever attempt to leave?

I completely understand that not every relationship can work.
Sometimes there are irreconcilable circumstances....
Where there's a baby involved, it becomes less about what you want and ONLY about what's best for your baby...
Well in the real world. I suppose in some distant facebook reality, it's simply about what looks good online.

Here's something I stumbled across little more than 5 minutes ago:
'My baby said daddy & I told her it was a naughty word'

I was stunned into silence momentarily... WOW
Jaw dropping. I'm actually still shocked... Ermm Nat its 09, that's nothing but yeah that's a bit mad!!
YOU F**KING SELFISH COW. Maybe mummy doesn't need daddy but your baby does.

If this is what the world has become... I knew it was a sad, bad place but I was shocked. Maybe I live life wearing rose coloured glasses, oblivious to the negative aspects of life... who knows. That to me is too much. Nat it's not your business, why do you care? No, no, no... these are the kids that are going to be the 'older ones' (when I in the distant future have kids) in my children's schools, environment etc... No no no. It's not cool.

Elsewhere:

• Not much at all... Friday raving is DEAD
• Mile end Nando's is slightly impressive
• White choco dips are WOW. Get involved. 49p at a shop near you!!
• I'm putting myself on a £40 a week budget. Wish me luck :)
• Some people go raving just to take pictures. Less of the camera and more raving please. Constant camera flashes whilst attempting to enjoy myself is rather off putting. Thanks
  

[A deeply saddened] Nat x

NO MEANS NO... Now Piss Off

Is there a bleak side to excitement?
The harmonious thunder of a calm day... Get it?
The shadow cast as the sun lay in its mid day pose... Straight down the middle and beams directly over head.... [for those who are unaware, mid day is the only time the sun creates NO shadow!]

Sometimes there is no answer to a question, sometimes the answer is evident. Some hide from the truth, to protect themselves or to fool themselves into a reality which never existed.
GUYS... Why will you never take no for an answer?
Do not be persistent. I hate that, it doesn't prove how much you care. Its just annoying. Do not run me down. The boyfriend vacancy is filled. How can I help you? I can't

I don't fancy a sideline guy, I have enough friends, I don't wanna come to your rave or model for your clothing line/be in your video.
No I won't add you on my PlayStation, you can't txt me details of upcoming events and I don't need a lift home.
I'm fine without your discount, I don't care who you know & no I'm not coming to the after party in your hotel. PS. Its not your hotel, its a room you rented out. Along with your car LMFAO
No, I don't know who you are... I don't particularly care. I don't care what car you drive, get in it and drive off. I don't want you to buy me a drink, I can buy my own. How about I buy you one and then you piss off?
If you really wish to buy me one. I'm drinking Dom Perignon Rose. Still wanna buy one? LOL

These are a few of the awful lines I've heard. Guys stop saying 'I just wanna be your friend'
Ermm. No you don't, be real. I'd respect that more.
'I'm not talking to your man; I'm talking to you' <- No you're not. Bye...
Do not follow me down the street either. Stalker.
Taking girls numbers on the side of the road makes you look desperate and like you have no home. Go to flex. There's 'too many' girls in there.

Rant finished, about time!!

The International is awful. Don't even buy it off the Chinese guy/woman.

I'm eagerly anticipating X Men Origins: Wolverine...

Tina Turner is 69... That's how you stack! 50 years in the industry. Lifetime achievement award is due...

Chris Brown & Rihanna got married in P Diddy's mansion. PARRR. She needs to let him know she wants a proper wedding.

I hate people who walk slow/carry those trolley suitcases on London Underground pre 9 am. If this is you, please, please STOP. Thanks...

I worked out my iPod issue. Next job: Apple engineer, I think....

Poppadom's - Brick Lane. EAT THERE :) It's actually really nice! Very impressive I must say!
I was there last night with the Mr and the food was gorgeous... Definitely a recommended place!!! Get involved!

Love,
Nat x

NO CHEESECAKE...

The fridge was far from bare but certainly lacked in cheesecake.
Instead I ate digestive biscuits and strawberries.
I also found a 'Kick' in my fridge from my nights at Liquid.
I wonder if its still safe to drink....
Hopefully it'll keep me awake through the day!!

• Must go to Tesco tomorrow :)

How can there be strawberries and a 'Kick' in my fridge but NO CHEESECAKE?? Makes NO sense
No point sleeping now, college in a couple hours.
Good Morning!!

Believe in change....

Does a leopard ever change it's spots?
If I see the same ladybird today and then again next year will it have another spot?
If I see you next month will you be wearing the same mask you are today?
Will you pretend to be the same person you're pretending to be today?

It is inevitable that change does occur... isn't it?
Well Obama's president... Ermm, there's always a president. [Cough - he's black]... Nah hun, he's mixed race -- a lightie!!!
I can't argue that social attitudes don't change, that has been proven time and time again, but do people change or is personality something innate? Something deeply embedded in a person?
Would you believe a person could change to suit your own longing feeling? To satisfy something inside yourself... When in reality the change you're hoping for will never happen.

Can a hug and a kiss change opinions? Black out the bleak past and open the curtain to a bright, shining future? Would you change for someone you love? OR would the change be to better yourself? OR do you simply place a new mask on when around your loved one to imitate a change that has not and will never happen?

Does compromise count as change? Is it going far enough... Will it ever be enough?

To be on the safe side we should all probably be optimistic for change.
To hope for what may realistically change and be aware that a change isn't always possible.
Hillary Clinton should take note. You will never be president.
I'll keep open minded to change.... More fool me, maybe... Who knows?

Blah... Blah... Blah Nat....

Elsewhere in my world...

I stayed in an expensive hotel - £240 per night. I trashed the place, well sorta. I'll upload pics ASAP. Have a gd laugh haha!

Self imposed raving bans do not work... Rave in moderation

Cold custard is the best...

My love affair with Starbucks is back!!

I have fallen in love. LMAO. Well I've just decided to share this with the world. Well not the world, Loren & Talisha :) and anyone else who decides to read this!!!
I'm sorry girls, I didn't mean to, it just sorta happened!!
Just wish me luck and if it all fails, buy me a malibu & pineapple... [this excludes Talisha - buy me a sambucca and a malibu and coke!!!]

I have a new iPod... Wooo! Not all of my tunes are going on. If you know how to fix this get in touch.

Flat hunting.... I'm still unsuccessfully doing it. I'll put the lottery on later. If I win, I'm buying an apartment in Belgravia. Wish me luck with this also!

X Men Origins - Wolverine. 29th April. I WILL BE THERE. Storm was a cute baby! Awww lol

I should be sleeping, instead I'm craving cheesecake... Off to the kitchen I go!!!

Much Love,
Nat x