So whats new!
Contemplating with myself about who I really am... Really who am I?
So there's Natalia James. 5"6... All the basic bits.
Really I'm a female who pushes people away before they get close enough for her to love.
Who makes boundaries where there shouldn't be any.
Who makes her own rules.
Sometimes I'm so lost in a world of my own that I forget there's others here.
So I guess I'm inconsiderate too.
I fall in love, well I have. Then its a long hard cycle trying to get over them. Real.
I've spent time trying to work out why this happens. All that happened was I felt sorry for myself. Silly.
I ignore the right guy and fall for the wrong one. Then wonder why I'm hurt.
At times I'm delusional. I always attempt to see the best in people.
I think that people are being friendly because its the person they are.
That is rarely the case.
I stick to material items because I know they won't hurt me. They can't leave.
I am not materialistic. Really they mean nothing to me.
I'd give everything up to be half the person some of you are.
I say you all made me who I am. Really half of you don't see the person I am.
I wear a mask 3/4 of the time. More time I'm insecure about ALOT.
I always think whoever I'm with will leave me for someone with bigger boobs. Seems silly.
I also think when I love someone they'll leave.
Nick you were my best friend. Where are you now?
I realise that people drift apart. Yet I take it personally.
I think so highly of you, that when we drift apart. I'll feel the same.
All that you've just read doesn't come across as me, yet it is who I am.
Love Nat x